End Post

I thought it over again, and i've decided to stop updating my blog. I'll take it back up in the future if I feel like it. However, i'd like to leave a message here to help me remember a matter that was once quite important to me.

CAUTION: Below is a very very large post.

I'm sure you're wondering why I stopped interacting with you.

You probably know already, but i'd like to clear it up for my sake. I think it would be better if we'd just stop talking from here on.

I've been told by many people that you liked me, over and over, however, I do not believe that those people were telling the truth. You certainly did not treat me the way one would treat somebody who they liked. Almost inverse if I would be asked how I felt. I have no idea what you were thinking, but you were doing it all wrong.

I was very cautious with you for the past few weeks that lead up to me making my decision. I wanted to give you a second chance, and I did, over and over, but you then proved to me that you were not the one that I was looking for in this life. I reclined to joke with you with mindless namecalling and insulting. The fact was that I was scared to joke around with you, because you'd probably just break down emotionally and get into a pointless fight with me, and so I did my best to keep the things that might set you off to a minimum, but apparently that still did not work.

Do you want to know why I do not love you? If you don't already, you should ask yourself why I don't. You've proven to me that you cannot keep control of your emotions, and more often then not, let them take control of you yourself. Me and Khaiden have bent over backwards just to make sure you are okay, but you continue to bleed out your feelings and anger upon me and to a lesser extent, to the people around you as well. Whenever your emotions are taking hold of you, you don't cooperate with the most simplest directions, your attitude becomes terrible, and you bring everybody around you down. This is why I did not want to give you access to my account, you do not have the responsibility and control over yourself to hold it, and you have showed me that to me as well, which was why I always worried about what you would do if you became emotional and had the power to do what you wanted with my things.

I've asked you what was wrong when it was obvious that something was bothering you, and yet you blew me off like nothing. If it is true that you like me, then come talk to me seriously and say that you do. You have never sincerely done that before, and do not blame me for "not listening", because I am 110% certain that you have never truly told me that you liked me, amongst all of the times you have treated me like trash. You tell me that you don't want to do Salvage anymore, and that you don't care about it anymore, or you just want to keep doing it because the only incentive you have is to gain the things you still need, and in the next few days, you're back in the group, going in with us. I don't know whether you are lying, joking, or telling the truth anymore, and the fact that you cannot even keep true to your own words is very saddening to me. You're unable to tell whether i'm joking or telling the truth either, but it has come to the point where you will not believe anything of importance from me, hell, you probably think this whole thing is a joke too, but the truth is that it is not. It's the end, and I do not wish to continue with you anymore.

I am still looking for that special someone who I will want to stay with for the rest of my life, but you have proven to me time and again that you are not that person. To tell you the truth, I was infact in love with you at some point in time, but I have learned since then, and it looks like you are just another one of the many people (like my last girlfriend), who cannot stay consistent, truthful, and sincere with me, and that type of person is most certainly not someone whom i'd like to stay with for the rest of my life. I'm sorry if at times I made it seem like I actually loved you, even though I do not believe I have ever formally told you (likewise with yourself as well.), but I cannot love somebody like you.

I don't know why I started to chase after you.